20 8 / 2012

Previously on Fifty Shades, Anastasia and Christian reveal their big secrets.

Anastasia revealed she is still a virgin at the end of the last chapter and Christian took this rather badly, as if it had anything to do with him.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me,” he castigates me.“The subject never came up. I’m not in the habit of revealing my sexual status to everyone I meet. I mean, we hardly know each other.”

Castigates: 1. To inflict severe punishment on.

2. To criticize severely.

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09 8 / 2012

Anonymous asked: If you just got a message without a question, sorry, my computer just fucked up. The only thing I know about BDSM is that, in order to be safe and consensual, there's a safe word. Was there any mention of one in the chapter? :/

…No.

 

(to be fair, they’ve not gotten to the actual contract yet, there’s still time…) 

08 8 / 2012

Disclaimer: I’m sure there are asexuals who are knowledgeable about the BDSM lifestyle. I am not one of them.

Previously on Fifty Shades, Anastasia goes round to Christian’s for tea.

Anastasia looks into the playroom and describes it in great detail. Seriously, there’s five paragraphs of this nonsense.

The first thing I notice is the smell; leather, wood, polish with a faint citrus scent.

I’m just really relieved to know that he does keep the room clean and that it is lemony fresh.

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08 8 / 2012

Flattering and educational! Thank you anons!

Next chapter coming in the next few minutes, sorry it took so long, real life keeps getting in the way :/

Flattering and educational! Thank you anons!

Next chapter coming in the next few minutes, sorry it took so long, real life keeps getting in the way :/

31 7 / 2012

Previously on Fifty Shades, Christian shares his bed and toothbrush with Anastasia. Oh, and there was kissing. Kissing!

Anastasia gets into Christian’s car so that he can take her home. She is quite dazed by the kiss and doesn’t wholly believed it happened. 

I touch my lips, swollen from his kiss. It definitely happened. I am a changed woman. 

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27 7 / 2012

Previously on Fifty Shades, Anastasia gets wankered and Christian is a stalker.

Hungover, Anastasia awakes to find herself in a bed that is not her own. She realises that she is actually in the hotel that Christian is staying in and is in Christian’s bed. What happened to taking Anastasia to her own house, Christian? Luckily, she’s mostly clothed and no sexy shenanigans happened the night before. Enter Christian.

He’s in gray sweat pants that hang, in that way, off his hips and a gray singlet, which is dark with sweat, like his hair. Christian Grey’s sweat, the notion does odd things to me.

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27 7 / 2012

lebalancier asked: You are so ridiculously amusing. I think I'm a bit in love with you.

I’m blushing, thank you!

19 7 / 2012

Previously on Fifty Shades, Anastasia has a dilemma over what to order at the coffee shop and Christian saves her life from a passing cyclist.

Anastasia, presumably giddy from the rush of being alive, tries to mind control Christian into kissing her. It doesn’t work.

He’s breathing harder than usual, and I’ve stopped breathing altogether.

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19 7 / 2012

Anonymous asked: And you know what the worst thing is with that tea? E.L. James is British herself.

19 7 / 2012

Anonymous asked: I love this blog!! I'm also reading this mess, I mean book, to see what the big fuss is about. Your blog is making it so much more fun and bearable! Are you really going to do all 3 books?? Your blog would be the only reason I would even bat an eye at the other two. Keep up the awesome work! <3

Ahh, thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it! And I do plan to do all three books, yes. I may live to regret this.